So, why DID it happen?

By nature, many of us are people watchers. Everywhere we go, we see people of different shapes, sizes, colors, and an array of personalities. Although none of us should be judgmental, some people are rather it be aloud or in their minds. Have you seen someone who is overweight and thought, "Wow! They need to put the fork down!" It happens. We all think it. I thought it when I was younger and I promised myself I would never be that big. If only those thoughts remained a reality.

I was never a small child after I started grammar school. I remember vividly how the kids would tease me and taunt me on the playground. This was a trend which continued through high school even, as some people were downright cruel and nasty towards me because at 17 years old, I weight 210 pounds. When I was growing up, clothing for large teens weren't trendy like they are today and I remember my jeans were always so wide at the ankles. It was the days of piss-legging the pants and mine were so wide, it was virtually impossible to make them piss-leg properly!

So, why did it happen? And how did I grow to nearly 500 pounds? Before I continue, this isn't to lay out excuses or release the responsibility for my size as I do hold responsibility. I do not deny it. I came from a large mother and father. I remember times when my mother would fry chicken and our plates would be loaded with chicken, mashed potatoes, pasta, corn, cornbread, and even sweets at times or she'd broil up steaks and lay large pieces of steaks in our plates. As time went on and we lived on food stamps, we rarely saw fresh vegetables or fruits and we drank Kool-Aid with sugar or we had tea. From an early age, my nutritional lessons were shot as we grew up on these type of foods and drinks.

As an adult, I lost some weight living at my grandparents house as I walked to work every day and usually back if my grandpa didn't come get me. I chose to eat salads over french fries and I loved to drink water. My high school sweetheart and I got together one weekend and his grandmother was blown away by the weight I had lost. Her reaction to my weight loss kept me on track and increased my desire to become even healthier. And I had. By the time I moved out of Owensboro, KY, I weight 165lbs, down from the 220 pounds I had originally started at.

Life as an adult changed things for me. Each time I became pregnant, I'd gain 20 or 30lbs, unless I miscarried in earlier weeks, but the pregnancies that went beyond the first month, I gained weight like crazy. I always knew when I was pregnant because of the weight gain alone. Although those pregnancies only resulted in one live birth, I carried on the weight of each of them until I made it to 300 pounds.

At the age of 24, I was already at 300 pounds and my next obstacle came into my way: antidepressants. We've all heard the stories of people who take these medications and the weight they gain, well, it's true. In five years of medications, I had grew to the near 500 pound mark. These medications caused me to eat in unusual patterns, they made me feel like a zombie to where I wouldn't leave the house at all, and eventually became fearful of social situations. Here I was, growing to this enormous size, sometimes eating enough for three people or sometimes not eating at all. It continued until one day I said no more and flushed all my medications down the toilet.

The first three months, I went through severe reaction to coming off the medication, but once it was out of my system, I began to work on my weight and got myself back down to 350lbs to where I stopped trying to lose the weight and maintained a 350-360lb body. It was then, my life had changed yet again and my comfort was food. I had been with my ex-husband since 1993 and in 2005, we decided our marriage was over and although we made this decision, he was still very much in my life as he lived in my basement. He caused stress and depression upon me and I turned to food to soothe the pains he left in and on me. In May of 2009, I was back at 463lbs.

By reading this, I think you're capable of lining up the weight with the issues that caused the weight gain. Some people turn to counseling, some people to alcohol, some don't eat at all, and some find the comfort in Ben and Jerry's every now or a bag of chips to comfort themselves from the pains of life. My point of writing this out is to open the realization to people out there, being overweight is a disease, a sickness in itself. For some, it's an emotional disorder as we turn to food for comfort.

And so you have it. The WHY it happened. My life has changed, again, even more drastic than ever, and tomorrow, I'll write more about the positive effects of these life changes. I will eventually get into the 'how' I'm losing this weight, so please keep checking back. And remember, regardless if you have 20lbs to lose or 200lbs to lose, we are all in this together and we can do it! Find the core of your weight problem and attack it!